Adult children bring their mothers enormous pride and joy when they become engaged to be married. The planning for the mother of the bride and groom outfits commences once the rush of the wonderful news subsides. Mother of the bride and groom outfits should be comfortable, well fitted and age appropriate, and can be coordinated with the color, theme and style of the bridal party. Mothers coordinating their outfits has been routine for several years. Attending other weddings, reading wedding magazines and visiting wedding dress department stores can begin the process. Having an idea in mind as to style preference when beginning the search may also be a good idea.

My son was recently asked to attend as best man in in one of his friend's weddings. The mother of the groom was upset through most of the planning stages for the wedding day because not all her ideas were used. The bride's mother attempted to engage the groom's mother in the process of shopping for their outfits, however the groom's mother had no interest.. The bride's mother selected her outfit choosing as her mother of the bride outfit an elegant, stylish and flattering gown. She looked amazing and was a compliment to the entire wedding. The groom's mother chose as her mother of the groom outfit the same dress as the bridesmaids, but in a slightly different shade. Unfortunately, the dress was not age appropriate or flattering to the groom's mother and she spent one of the most beautiful days she would ever have feeling remorseful and ridiculous.

A few thoughts. When picking out a mother of the bride or groom gown, make sure to ask the bride if she has any particular style in mind and if you wish, invite her along for fittings and to help pick out what she may want you to wear. She should have input if she and you want it, but do not hesitate to speak up if the dress she prefers is unflattering or price is an issue.

Department stores have designated mother of the bride and groom outfits. Keep in mind you don't have to choose your dress from a specialty dress shop. Department stores sell formal dresses for certain times of the year and specific occasions. Guaranteed, those outfits will be lower priced than a dress in a specialty shop.

If, however, the bride has chosen something special in a particular store, you may want to honor her wishes by accepting or at least considering her choice. If cost is an issue, remind her of that fact and see if you can find something similar. If she is still adamant, then compromise becomes the order of the day. This is the bride and groom's special day and it requires cooperation and support from the mothers of the bride and groom. Once you experience the joy and laughter on this day, every squabble will be forgotten and you'll be the happiest mothers of the bride and groom ever.

This wedding made me realize that the day belongs to the bride and groom, not me. I will support them. I will offer advice if asked, hold my counsel if it's not. I will even let them decide on the mother of the bride and groom outfits so as to not make them feel uncomfortable them as their friend was mortified. Keeping in mind that this is the bride and groom's day and not mine may be the most important lesson to come out of my children wedding day.

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